


Scars and Perfection

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [2]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 23:46:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6097855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke rubbed at his eyes, propping himself up on an elbow. "Did you have a bad dream again?" He said <i>again </i>- these nightmares were a fairly common occurrence. Hawke sometimes woke, sometimes he did not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars and Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [THIS](http://goma-itoh.tumblr.com/post/131342064893/hawke-is-a-big-snorer-if-you-cant) beautiful post on Tumblr and immediately wanted to write something for it, so with goma-itoh's permission, I spun an adaptation. (I hope it's good enough, omg, I loved your fanart, I just have so many feels about Fen with nightmares.)
> 
> Thank you immensely to goma-itoh for letting me write this; make sure to check out the Tumblr post for the amazing inspiration.
> 
> I do not own _Dragon Age II _. Thanks for reading!__

Fenris wondered if he would ever grow used to the sensation of waking up with a body pressed close to him, and knowing that he did not have to panic because of it. That day wasn't today; it seemed such a long way off. Fenris's heart was still pounding as he gazed at Hawke's peaceful, sleeping face. But the adrenaline was draining out of him, leaving him weak and shaky and _frustrated_. His body slumped over on its own accord and he pressed his head into his hands.

Would there ever come a day where he could sleep in the same bed as Hawke without thinking of Danarius?

He was trying to let this go! Did it have to be so insistent on hanging on? Danarius was dead and gone, and Hawke was nothing like him. Fenris just wanted _this_ to be right, just this small, singular part. Was it too much to ask for?

"Fen...?"

Fenris winced, pulling his head away from his arms. "Hawke... I woke you," he muttered, pushing his hair behind his ears. "I apologize."

Hawke rubbed at his eyes, propping himself up on an elbow. "Did you have a bad dream again?" He said _again_ \- these nightmares were a fairly common occurrence. Hawke sometimes woke, sometimes he did not. Today, he had, and Fenris looked on at the mussed hair and the sleep heavy lids with an impassive face.

Why? _Why?_ Why was it so hard for him to grasp that he was safe, that Danarius was gone, that this man in the bed next to him was _never_ going to hurt him?

The anger he felt towards himself made him draw his attention away, clearing his throat slightly. "Nevermind."

He could still feel Hawke's eyes on him even as he stared towards the wall, the bedroom door, anything else. He heard Hawke begin to move before he felt the gentle touch on his shoulder, and it was only for that reason that Fenris did not startle under Hawke's fingers. He had told him repeatedly that he was not made of glass; so, why, then, did he still feel so fragile?

"Come closer!" Hawke said, _pouted_ , almost, while tugging on Fenris's shoulder.

Fenris, even in his uncertain state, could not resist the soft tone and the gentle touches. This was how Hawke could be such a stark contrast to Danarius, and it was the same touch that he still flinched at sometimes accidentally that he could melt into, that would melt away the memories in his head to replace them with better ones. He eased himself down into the blankets again, slouching against Hawke's shoulder.

It wasn't good enough for Kirkwall's Champion, apparently, because Fenris was pulled even closer, effectively smashed against Hawke's chest with arms locked around his body so tightly that he could barely move.

"I can't breathe," he complained, although did not fight it. If he wanted free, he would pull free. If he wanted to go, Hawke would let him go. It was as simple as that. He did know that, even if he struggled with it. Hawke was warm and comforting and all encompassing, and Fenris subtly breathed in the scent of his skin as he lay there, pressed against this man he barely deserved.

It may take him awhile to get used to this, but he would never tire of it. Never.

"Stay put," Hawke said, tilting his head against Fenris's. "I'll keep the nightmares away."

Fenris scoffed, squirming only until he could get an arm around Hawke's shoulders. "Or just give me more," he muttered, blowing his hair out of his face.

"Me? Give you nightmares? Hardly!"

Fenris rolled his eyes, tracing his fingers against Hawke's arm softly. "You are a walking, talking nightmare. You have been told so many times, by many people," he reminded teasingly.

Hawke laughed, all hot, morning breath against the side of his face and Fenris nearly laughed out loud with him, despite himself. "You love me," Hawke retorted, over a yawn.

He had him there. Fenris smiled gently and held onto Hawke's arm. "I do," he relented, and pretended to not notice how warm his face felt as Hawke clumsily pecked a kiss beneath his eye.

Their relationship was far from perfect. It was beyond flawed, in fact... or maybe it was just him. Maybe he was the flawed one. But Hawke seemed to... actually love those flaws. (Don't remind Fenris of one night when Hawke had decided to shower him in compliments, to the point where Fenris didn't know if he was closer to yelling, or _sobbing_.) And Hawke had proven time and again that he was willing to be patient for Fenris, so...

Maybe this ‘flawed’ relationship _was_ their perfect.

If that was the case, Fenris had to admit it made all of this, these nightmares, the ghosts in the shadows, slightly more tolerable.

He sighed softly, and closed his eyes as he rest his head against Hawke's, content.

 

 

　

Content until half hour later, when Hawke was snoring into his ear, and Fenris was struck with the urge to take the pillow and _smother_ him, just _smother_ him-

His overly domestic reaction made him laugh to himself in the darkness, as Hawke snored on beside him. He ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head in half amusement, half annoyance. Only this man could make him annoyed and amused in the same moment, make him want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

Be irritated but happy at the same, unable to actually stop smiling to himself.

Flawed.

Fenris loved him unconditionally. And that, flaws and all? Would never change.

 

**Author's Note:**

> (Much like Hawke's snoring.)


End file.
